No Exit Strategy
by snakepit
Summary: AU!Eren is a suicidal teenager who suffers from dementia. As Levi's life crumbles around him, Eren tries to find love in the bottom of bottles. It doesn't take long for both of them to realize how bad off they are without one another. Yaoi and future lemons. Trigger warnings.


**Authors Note:**

I've been feeling blocked for the past day because I just recently found out that I might have permanent damage to my head and I need a CAT scan sometime this month. I'm really kind of scared that I might have a tumor or worse, but knowing me I'm just overreacting. None the less it's been scary and I thought I could use this for inspiration in a sickly but venting way.

**Warning:**

Possible triggers: drinking, suicidal thoughts, self-harm, smoking, drinking, etc. read at your own risk.

* * *

LeviEren  
Attack on Titan ; Rated M ; Yaoi ; Lemons  
I don't claim to own anything but the writing.

/ No Exit Strategy /

Chapter 1

"_Eren this is getting out of hand – it's scaring me, even. I think you should go to doctor."_ Levi.

"_How the hell did this happen, Eren? Why didn't you tell anyone about this?!" _And Mikasa.

"_Please… get some help. You can't die! We're supposed to travel together."_ How could he forget Armin?

Eren smiled to himself, to the doctor's face, despite the tears streaming hotly down his cheeks. His body shook, not just because of the brain damage, but because of anger, anxiety, fear… his blood was hot and his body was cold. His eyes felt permanently glued open and it hurt to blink.

"Do you… can you… fix me?" He stumbled on his words.

"Since you refuse to do shock therapy," the man, with a label on his chest that read Dr. Smith, sighed. "All you can do for yourself is get plenty of rest and hope for the best."

"Okay." His voice was a hollow whisper.

Feeling content, with or without his desire to, he turned his back to the doctor and exited out of the office he was called to. The nurse from before, Hanji Zoe, was watching him as he slowly put one foot in front of the other. It was a chore, he knew it and so did she. Silently, she observed him and made sure that he made it outside without falling over.

Which he did, to everyone's surprise, he eerily kept his calm as he stepped out of the doctor's office where Levi and Armin were waiting impatiently. The moment that Levi saw Eren he tossed his cigarette to the ground and stomped on it before pulling the brunette into an embrace.

Eren's arms were hung motionless at his sides.

"I'm fine, Levi." He pulled away and smiled reassuringly. Streaks were still on his face where his tears had sat for too long. "I'm fine, see?"

"Cut the shit, Eren." Levi scowled. "What did the doctor say?"

"I'm going to have severe memory loss, which isn't new." Eren chuckled dryly. "But it's okay… I've had worse."

"How the hell did this happen, Eren?"

_Eren twisted the bottle cap open and snorted when he read the label. He showed it to Jean who scrunched his lips into a frown._

"_Yo don't drink with that shit!" Jean swatted towards the bottle but due to his blurry vision and drunken body, he miserably missed. _

_Eren shrugged before popping four into his palm. "What's the worst that'll happen?" _

_Down the pills and straight gin went; layered on two doses of LSD while he and Jean were already working on smoking their fourth joint of the day. In 15 minutes Eren had stumbled from the porch of Jean's house and into his bathroom where he emptied the contents of his stomach before finding his way into the shower. He sat in the shower for 30 minutes, fully clothed, letting the water beat down on him in hopes to sweat all of this away._

_When nothing worked, he let Jean carry him into bed and he laid there for the rest of the night with a spinning head. The TV that both of them were too drunk to turn off was flashing all sorts of colors and luring his eyes, along with the high base of techno music playing. _

_Jean didn't know how long Eren's emerald eyes had been rolled back or when Eren's nose started bleeding and his mouth foamed. He didn't know how long the brunette sat there on the bed like that._

"_Eren! Oh fuck I fucking told you, shit! I'm gonna call an ambulance okay?! Stay with me… don't fuckin' die!"_

That was 6 months ago, before Eren had gotten with Levi and before Jean had told him to fuck off.

"I dunno, really." He lied right to Levi's face.

"What about all of your problems; you blacking out, being tired all of the time, forgetting things that happened just yesterday? Eren, you forget an entire day at least 3 times a week! That's not normal. Why won't they fucking do anything?!"

Levi was yelling by this point and Eren wasn't sure what to tell him. He looked to Armin while Levi was taking deep breaths and trying to calm himself. Armin looked afraid, wide eyed and staring intently at the ground as if he were lost in thought.

"We don't tell Mikasa, okay?" Eren hugged himself. "She doesn't need to… she doesn't… doesn't need…"

Levi's eyes slowly went wide and Armin looked back to Eren. He was struggling, his brows furrowed.

"What was I saying…?"

* * *

"Eren, I'm home!" Levi hung his coat on the coatrack and dropped his bag next to the door.

He was studying to be a neurosurgeon; that's how he was the first to tell that Eren was acting strange. When Eren would come home confused, wondering where he was and if he were dreaming. Luckily he was friends with a nurse, Hanji, and was able to get Eren a CAT scan.

"Eren?" His gut twisted as he stepped deeper into his apartment.

Ever since Eren's first accident 4 months ago, Levi decided Eren was going to live with him whether he liked it or not. On the first night, Eren forgot where he was and tore the whole apartment to pieces and tried to fight Levi because he thought he was kidnapped.

It was heart wrenching to think about, so Levi shook the chill on his spine away and slowly crossed the corner of his entrance hallway and stepped into the livingroom. Everything was left untouched, which was still strange in itself.

"Eren!" Levi called out again. Panic surged through his veins now as he started frantically searching the apartment.

It was empty; everything was untouched.

Suddenly his phone rang – that picture of he and Eren popped up. His heart panged with anxiety.

"Hello?"

"_L-Levi?"_ Eren's voice was trembling. _"I don't k-know where I a-am… I… I… I'm… lost…"_

Levi cursed silently to himself.

"Are you outside?"

"_Y-y-yeah…"_

It was nearly pitch black outside, that didn't help matters.

"What's around you; a restaurant, street sign, anything?"

"_I don't… I don't feel good."_

"Oi, Jaeger! Don't you dare pass out on me!"

"…_Maria Lane… I see… Maria Lane."_

"I'll be there, just stay still, okay?"

Levi could hear the sound of the phone rustling and dropping before the call ended. He quickly ran back to his back and ripped his keys out of the bag before nearly busting the front door down in frustration. Within seconds, he was on the first floor and already starting up his car.

Maria Lane was halfway across town according to his GPS. How the hell did Eren end up all the way over there?

Inside, somewhere deep down, he was seething with anger. But that was only the core of him. The layers were filled with remorse, worry and sadness. He was so scared for Eren; to lose him, for Eren to get lost. He was simply thankful now that Eren didn't forget him again.

He checked every single street sign of Maria Lane and all around it.

Finally, on the third sign he saw the moon reflecting off of Eren's favorite white jacket; the one Levi had given him. He was slumped onto the ground and passed out.

"Fuck!" Levi sprang out of the driver seat and hurried around the car to scoop Eren into his arms. He was breathing, he was alive; but there was a gash on the side of his head from where he must have fallen.

Levi couldn't help the burning sensation in his eyes as he nuzzled his face into the crook of Eren's neck.

* * *

Eren woke up slowly; his green eyes peeling open to reveal that he was sleeping on the sofa in Levi's apartment, and on the other side of the room Levi sat with his back to the wall on the floor. He was barely awake, staring motionlessly at the other side of the room. His eyes looked hollow.

"Levi…" Eren yawned. "What happened?"

A wry chuckle passed Levi's lips. "You don't remember."

It was a statement, not a question, yet Eren nodded.

He felt the throbbing sensation on his head and found a bandage wrapped around his head.

"I quit school today." Levi blurted, silencing Eren further. "How did it get so bad?" Levi droned as Eren observed the blood on his fingers. "Do you remember when we first got together? ...Do you even remember the times we spent together?"

Blue met green; Levi waited for his answer. It never came.

"We used to be so happy." Levi muttered.

"We're still happy." Eren tried to swallow the thick lump in his throat. The voice in his head was ringing; _this is it, this is where I lose him._ His heart pounded in his ears as Levi went silent. "Aren't we?"

There was a small stain on Levi's cheeks that said more than Eren needed to hear. Instead of defending himself, Eren quietly shifted his back to Levi and hugged the bloodied pillow close to his chest. They both quietly wept to themselves.

* * *

_To be continued._

_Chapters ahead will be longer._


End file.
